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Today was a really big day for our Katertot and she simply wowed me from start to finish. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Beginnings”

To my dearest and most beautiful Kate,

215 days. 5, 160 hours. Eight months. Today marks 8 months since your diagnosis and we’ve hit a pretty rough patch this most recent cycle (cycle 8 of 9.) YES! I DID say 9 cycles! That was the one bright patch in this last month. We learned that consolidation didn’t have 10 cycles, but only 9, which made for quite a nice surprise last month. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Eight”

Katertot,

Sigh. I’m late again, baby girl. I’d like to think that by NOT posting exactly on the 15th of each month, that means that we’re getting a bit more used to the craziness that is your treatment schedule and that the anniversary of that day just simply passes my memory.  That’s not at all the case…I always, always reflect on that day and what all has happened in the last seven months. I hate getting used to this, but if it means we can bring a little more normalcy to your life because of it, then so be it. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Seven”

Oh my sweet Katie girl,

It’s been six months since your diagnosis and we are in the middle of cycle 6 of consolidation.  This one is particularly ugly so I thought I’d lighten the mood and tell you a little bit about the finer points of what we’ve learned over the last six months. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Six”

When my co-worker asked what kinds of medications Kate got this week during her two days at the PPSU (pediatric, post-sedation unit) I started counting out exactly what all she had endured and I was a little overwhelmed. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: A Glimpse Into the Life…”

Dear Kate,

Today marks five months since your diagnosis…almost a half a year has passed.  You have changed SO much in those five months it’s unreal.  I asked the clinic if they were giving you chemo or miracle grow because you are growing so fast and developing so much.  Chemo certainly has not slowed you down or stunted any growth, except for the hair on your head! Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Five”

Sage advice, Mr. Buffett.

We had a nice Christmas, but the last few weeks have felt like that wad of crap you reach after digging through 50 layers of crud.  I feel like we’ve been in consolidation for eternity and we aren’t even halfway there yet. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On”

(written a day late on December 16th)

My sweet Katertot,

It has been four months since that awful day and you continue to blow my mind with your strength. Truly, you are my inspiration every day and because of you, I am feeling much stronger in my role as your momma. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Four”

If you know me, you knew this post was coming. I have tried to keep as brave a face as possible and have tried keeping my fears and frustrations stuffed way down so that they can’t haunt me, but there’s no hiding from this kind of pain. I am so sad and frustrated over what life feels like right now that I want to cry, scream, throw things and hide. I want to pack up my girl and run far, far away to where cancer can’t find us. I dream about leaving chemo and pills and side effects behind and just escaping somewhere that none of this exists. That place clearly does not exist and I am just PISSED OFF. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: The One Where I Let it Out”

People are good. People are REALLY good and in the midst of hard times, they come out in droves and prove their goodness. I have a hard time saying that we’re going through “hard times” because all considered, Kate is doing rather well and we are coping. I think we’re managing well, but then, I have pretty high expectations of how our family runs and operates and that? Well, that’s lacking. A lot. If you know me, you know I’m…well…organized. Okay hell, I’m obsessed with organization and while it’s something people poke fun of me about, it’s also something I’m most proud of. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Thankful & Grateful”