Happy 5th Birthday Katie Kat

Kate Olivia was born on Sunday, June 5th, 2011 at 4:04am weighing 7 lbs. 4 oz. and was 19 1/4 inches long. She was big being 5 weeks early but ended up in the NICU for four days.

This morning, (I kid you not) I woke up at exactly 4:04am with tingling at my scar. I think Kate woke me to remind me…she’s still here.

The morning was sad. We had to fight the waves of grief over and over as reality came crashing over us. We went to the cemetery, placed a beautiful handmade rainbow wreath and balloons of all of her favorite things. We stayed a long while…not wanting to leave. Afterwards we had breakfast at her favorite pancake place.

We headed home, her Aunt Jamie arrived and we had a big gathering of family. It’s impossible to describe the feeling…hosting a party without a birthday girl. But Katie loved birthdays. We could not let her first in heaven go without.

There were stories, tears, laughs, cake and sky lanterns. And, because Kate is who she is…she turned what was to be a rainy, severe thunderstorm filled day into one with a sunset and stars. Because that’s the magic she works.

There are nine minutes left in this day, Kit Kat. I hope we did you proud. I hope you felt the love from all over the world as people celebrated you in their own ways. Tomorrow I will pour over each and every story and message after we deliver your toy drive bounty to the clinic.

Kate, I love you. With every bone in my body, every cord in my soul, I say…”you are the light by which my spirits born. You are my sun, my moon and all my stars.”

My cup runneth over for you, darling girl. Stay close.

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