Heaven is Real

Katie girl, you are magic. Every time you turn the sky pink with your rays of little girl sunshine, I am reminded. Every time you shift the breeze so that the branches of our lilacs sway toward the window, I am reminded. Every time you say to me “mommy, I’m here” in your own special ways, I am certain. You. Are. Magic.

Thanks to you, Katie girl, I know heaven is for real. Thanks to you, I know that you are with me. You see me. You know you are loved. You are waiting for me. Thanks to you, I know that love wins over every single thing in our world AND yours.

I am amazed at what you, in your sweet four years, six months and six days, have taught me in my nearly 40 years. I wish we never had to learn the lessons we did, but since this is the hand we were dealt, you’ve proven yourself in typical Katie fashion and have just outdone yourself once more in teaching me that what is in my heart is for real and that I shouldn’t question what I know to be true.

You have been trying SO hard and now I know. I know you are here. I wish I could say this makes my heart hurt less. If anything, it makes me miss you more. I long for your face. For your skin. For your voice. I long for your heart. I have never known anyone as loving and lovely as you. I have never met anyone with as much charisma and enthusiasm as you. I have never encountered anyone as much like pure heaven on earth…as you.

Your daddy calls you lightening in a bottle. Never to be matched. Never to be replaced. Never to be achieved again. Nothing will ever be the same as it was when you were here. Nothing could come close. Nothing could ever be as good…as pure…as true as you or the love you gave while you were here. Or since you’ve gone.

Lightening in a bottle and light of my life. Even in the darkest day, you are the light of my life. How blessed am I that you chose me.

Thank you, Katie girl. For teaching me the lessons you are learning on the other side through the veil that separates us. Until we meet again, I will search for you. Longingly. But because of you…I know you’ll always be there.

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