ARCHIVE: A Mother’s Day Dedication

A pregnant me with Mom on Mothers Day 2011, just before Kate was born.
A pregnant me with Mom on Mothers Day 2011, just before Kate was born.

How do you thank a mom like mine? No, really. HOW? How could I ever, ever thank her for what she’s done for me my whole life, let alone in the last 9 months? Whenever I try, she always tells me “you would do the same for Kate” and of course, she’s right, but it seems so impossible to adequately express how I love, admire and appreciate her.

Mom, you have always been my best friend. I am so proud of the relationship we have and of the bond we have with my sister. I did a lot as a younger adult to screw that up, but you never gave up on me. I tested your limits time and time again, caused you endless frustration & worry and yet, the constant forgiveness in your heart allowed me to see and realize (as I got older) that nothing I did would change how much you love me.

You gave up the opportunity to continue working out in the “real world” and instead traded work clothes for flip flops to stay at home with my baby so I could go back to work. I didn’t know how that role would evolve over the years or the extreme turns it would take, but the ways in which I rely on you now are endless.

Mom, you love my little girl as much as any grandma could. 9 months ago, when every single part of our world was destroyed, the strength you showed me so I could be at my weakest was the single greatest act of selflessness I’ve ever seen. I know how hard that must have been…maintaining your strength when we were at our lowest, meanwhile your heart breaking right along side of ours.

And now…Mike & I get all these comments about how strong we are….how lucky Kate is to have us. But really? YOU are who she is lucky to have. You take on 99.9% of the hard parts of her treatment, enduring countless hours of heartbreak watching your grandbaby suffer. No amount of thanks can cover how humbled I feel by your selfless acts each and every week.

You’ve been to almost all of Kate’s appointments. You’ve held her legs down while she screamed and cried being accessed. You’ve kissed her teary, fiery cheeks in comfort. You’ve been the bad guy to administer the meds when my anxiety forced me to walk away. You have endured countless hours of her gut-wrenching wailing over things she cannot control. You’ve unfairly become one of the two closest to me that I lash out at when the stress and sadness just become too much. And yet…you still show up the next day, again, full of forgiveness and ready to step in to help my family because of how much you love us.

I will never, ever be able to thank you for what you do each and every day, but I pray that you know. I hope that the way I raise my daughter will make you proud of who I am becoming as a mother. Every instinct I have as a mom and everything I hope to become is all because of how you’ve taught me over the years. If I have the relationship with Kate that I have with you, my entire life will be a success. I love you.  I LOVE YOU!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *