Puzzles with daddy at the clinic starting off cycle 9.
Puzzles with daddy at the clinic starting off cycle 9.

To my dearest and most beautiful Kate,

215 days. 5, 160 hours. Eight months. Today marks 8 months since your diagnosis and we’ve hit a pretty rough patch this most recent cycle (cycle 8 of 9.) YES! I DID say 9 cycles! That was the one bright patch in this last month. We learned that consolidation didn’t have 10 cycles, but only 9, which made for quite a nice surprise last month. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Eight”


Kate in the snowKatertot,

Sigh. I’m late again, baby girl. I’d like to think that by NOT posting exactly on the 15th of each month, that means that we’re getting a bit more used to the craziness that is your treatment schedule and that the anniversary of that day just simply passes my memory.  That’s not at all the case…I always, always reflect on that day and what all has happened in the last seven months. I hate getting used to this, but if it means we can bring a little more normalcy to your life because of it, then so be it. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Seven”


Oncaspar dose 8 of 15 on January 13th.
Oncaspar dose 8 of 15 on January 13th.

Dear Kate,

Today marks five months since your diagnosis…almost a half a year has passed.  You have changed SO much in those five months it’s unreal.  I asked the clinic if they were giving you chemo or miracle grow because you are growing so fast and developing so much.  Chemo certainly has not slowed you down or stunted any growth, except for the hair on your head! Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Five”

ARCHIVE: The One Where I Let it Out

If you know me, you knew this post was coming. I have tried to keep as brave a face as possible and have tried keeping my fears and frustrations stuffed way down so that they can’t haunt me, but there’s no hiding from this kind of pain. I am so sad and frustrated over what life feels like right now that I want to cry, scream, throw things and hide. I want to pack up my girl and run far, far away to where cancer can’t find us. I dream about leaving chemo and pills and side effects behind and just escaping somewhere that none of this exists. That place clearly does not exist and I am just PISSED OFF. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: The One Where I Let it Out”

ARCHIVE: Thankful & Grateful

People are good. People are REALLY good and in the midst of hard times, they come out in droves and prove their goodness. I have a hard time saying that we’re going through “hard times” because all considered, Kate is doing rather well and we are coping. I think we’re managing well, but then, I have pretty high expectations of how our family runs and operates and that? Well, that’s lacking. A lot. If you know me, you know I’m…well…organized. Okay hell, I’m obsessed with organization and while it’s something people poke fun of me about, it’s also something I’m most proud of. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Thankful & Grateful”