Memories of the Best Week Ever

One year ago, my perfect little family was packed up and heading to bed early. Our limo would arrive the next morning and we would be whisked away to Disney World. We went to bed that night tucked in with Minnie Mouse jammies and so looking forward to what would become a week of the most magical, wonderful days of our lives. I can’t even express how happy and hopeful we were this time last year. I very distinctly remember my head hitting the pillow and smiling. My exact thought was “I have looked forward to this since I found out I was having a little girl.”

One year ago Kate was quivering with excitement over who she would meet first…Simba, Aladdin, Rapunzel, Cinderella or countless others. She would ride her very first park ride, eat ice cream any ‘ole time she wanted and would learn all about the magic that is Disney. It was our only vacation as a family of three and I was already planning our next trip back. I remember thinking on that one day, I could simply burst from the happiness I felt. I could feel myself breathe deeply for the first time in years. If I could have bottled up that day…oh if only.

Three months later…on this exact day, the hope…the happiness…the magic all died with her. Nine months ago, my baby left this life for her next and nothing has been or ever will be the same.

I know that had she lived, what awaited her meant pain, sadness, fear and misery for her. Yet since she died, what has followed has been pain, sadness, fear and misery for us. I know she is at peace, she is whole, she is healthy. She is happy. But us? All of that left with her.

Oh, just take me back…take me back to this day, one year ago. But you? You are free, my angel. You are free.

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