I still have your shoes by the door. Your cups in the cabinet. I still cannot bear to part with the half eaten box of butterfly pasta that was your favorite. Your play room still begs to be played in; a frozen moment in time I long to return to.
I still turn on your light every day when I get home from work and I tell you “mommy’s home” and I still turn on your turtle stars each night before blowing you a kiss goodnight.
I still don’t know how to live without you. I still don’t want to try. I still don’t understand and I still cannot believe this is real.
I still search for you in everything.
I am still your mommy. You are still my precious girl. I still know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me and that you made me whole.
I still love you. I still miss you. I still absolutely ache for you and I still wish my life away to be with you again.
Earth and Heaven. Then and now. Life and loss. Love and grief. You and me.