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Dear Kate,

There are so many raw emotions coursing through me as I sit to write this but it feels nearly impossible to convey what is in my heart. I could tell you all about the memories of this day…a year ago that you were diagnosed. When I think back on those first hours, days and weeks, it would be easy to recall the crushing sadness we felt and the all-consuming fear. Honestly, I’m just coming around to where those feelings don’t haunt me every day. But the real truth is, the overwhelming emotion that comes to mind from the last year…is love. Love from every corner of our world. So, Kate, on this first anniversary of your diagnosis, I will write you a story like one of your favorite books, What is Love Biscuit? Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Twelve”

Dear Kate,

I found some much needed inspiration today on this 11th anniversary of your diagnosis. I know you’re tired, baby. I know in your sweet three year old mind, you think life will always be like this. I promise you, sweetheart, it will not. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Eleven”

Maybe it’s the stinkin’ hot weather and the wet bathing suits hanging in our mud room from Kate playing in her little inflatable pool. Maybe it’s all the beautiful babies in my mom’s group turning one year older and the memory of all of their parties this time last year. Perhaps it’s the visual reminder of the calendar pages flipping by inching us closer and closer to August. These days I’m feeling overwhelmed by sentimentality of…it all. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: What Remains”

As a really great weekend winds down, I’m asking for your good thoughts & prayers for tomorrow’s clinic visit. We begin cycle 4 with Kate’s usual every-three-week port access, but she’ll also be getting something new. (I am NOT amused.) Continue reading “ARCHIVE: What’s Next”

This month’s post is a tough one to write. I’m not entirely sure why, but I am attributing it to “too many dangling carrots.” Too many things are so close…and yet so, so far and that leaves me feeling very angst-y. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Ten”

I don’t remember the exact specifics of how the story goes, but when I was pregnant with Kate, my mom told me a story about how when SHE was pregnant with my sister, she thought she knew how much she would love her baby and that her dad sort of patted her on the head and said…sure you do, honey. But just you wait. And then, once Jamie was born, my grandfather said to mom, “See? Now do you know?” Continue reading “ARCHIVE: 3 Years Old”

Well here we are again, sweet girl. Mommy’s late with a blog post. Before motherhood & cancer, I’ll have you know that your momma wasn’t usually ever late for ANYthing, but you might not ever catch a glimpse of that. My how times have changed! Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Nine (better late than never)”

How do you thank a mom like mine? No, really. HOW? How could I ever, ever thank her for what she’s done for me my whole life, let alone in the last 9 months? Continue reading “ARCHIVE: A Mother’s Day Dedication”

Today is National Nurses Day and even though the majority of our nurses don’t know about, much less read this blog, I wanted to post something today to share with our little world to say thank you. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: National Nurses Day”

Tomorrow is an enormous milestone for Kate and for our family. Tomorrow marks the day we will have achieved the phase of treatment we call maintenance…the LAST phase. Yes, it’s 16 months long and yes, she’ll still be at the clinic weekly.  But after that?  WE’LL BE DONE! “Maintenance” just kind of says it all, doesn’t it?  We are, in essence, maintaining her remission. Continue reading “ARCHIVE: Maintenance…Achieved”